The last few years have brought unbelievable loss and transformation for me personally - and professionally.

It was pretty messy, but now that I'm on the other side, I'm ready to share the story behind it all.

It started with the loss of a lot of family, including my grandma and both parents, along with other important family members. The responsibility and grief were overwhelming, and it was made a lot worse by people I trusted. They weren’t connected to anyone who passed, and instead of listening to anything I needed, they pressed impossible demands. It caused absolute chaos. I lost all the most formative people in my life to death in a matter of months, and they couldn't seem to stop themselves from making it infinitely more painful. Trying to grieve my parents’ and everyone else's death alongside unwavering defensiveness, deflection, and insensitivity caused so much internal chaos that my hair fell out in chunks. 

It was beyond traumatizing. 

It was dehumanizing.

As a result of their constant denial and dismissal, I developed cPTSD. Even with therapy and solid mental health support, I struggled immensely. After years of refusing to face their obvious impact, I made peace on my own terms and let them go entirely. 

I am forever grateful for the rest of my circle.

My husband, my family, my friends, and so many others - even strangers - came together in incredible ways. They showed me what real love and support looked like in the face of unthinkable tragedy and indefensible nonsense.

Even so, I wasn't entirely sure how I was going to get through this. My life hasn't always been easy, and I've learned how to heal very deep wounds. But never anything like this. I'd never even known anyone who died. All this simultaneous loss was crippling. It almost broke me.  

Almost. 

Amidst all the grief, confusion, and chaos, something unexpected began to take shape. A distinct lightness came into focus that would eventually shape my future. 

In the process of healing, I’ve become a healer.

And I'm ready to share that story, too.

The Balance of Light and Dark

I’ve always been rational, logical, and skeptical.

I have a background in science and wanted to be an evolutionary biologist or forensic pathologist in another life. Science was how I explained the world around me, but for the first time in my life, it was useless.

There was so much darkness during this time, but every inch of pain was met with curious moments filled with profound lightness that gave me a sense of unexpected joy and connection. It was oddly fascinating, and if I'm being honest, pretty uncomfortable. I felt so guilty at first. Am I even allowed to feel joy right now? I've heard about the proverbial "signs from beyond", but this went so far beyond that. I'd never really heard about anything like this before. I wasn't quite sure what to make of it all. 

Eventually, I began to realize that they seemed to come when I needed them most. 

It was like clockwork.

After intense bouts of grief, the lightness came to lift my spirit. Sometimes it came in the form of ethereal, comforting dreams that eventually became reality. Once, an impossibly specific gift and encouraging message showed up on my doorstep from a total stranger. There was the uncanny sense of knowing that something was going to happen before it actually did, along with uniquely supportive and uplifting “coincidences” that happened constantly. 

These moments softened my pain and grief, allowing them to transform over time. 

The strangest part was that I began to remember these things had been going on since I was a kid. My whole life, really. Sometimes it was even useful in the moment, but I never quite knew what to do with any of it otherwise. I was obviously quite intuitive, but there never seemed to be a clear message - until now. Over the last few years, it started to feel electric and guided me to focus on one thing.

Energy. 

So at the beginning of last year, that’s what I did. 

Spiritual Awakening or Conscious Expansion?

A lot of people would call this a spiritual awakening, and I can definitely see that. 

But that doesn't quite feel right. 

It feels more like my consciousness expanded and aligned with energies that have always been waiting for me to arrive. 

Along with my Usui Reiki studies and training, I completed a nine-month Earth energy work apprenticeship called Terra Ma with my mentor and teacher, Cat Dughi. These complementary practices have helped me build a solid foundation for all future energy work and practice.  

I can honestly say that following this path has changed the trajectory of my life. 

After three years of struggling desperately with the dissociation and rumination that came with cPTSD, it appears to be in remission following six months of regular Reiki and energy work practice. Aside from my own personal progress, I've been working with others and have been equally impressed. I hadn't planned on pursuing practitioner certification, but as I began to see how it helped people through change and difficult situations, I couldn't ignore it.

I had to know more. 

I've spent the last year conducting case studies, taking meticulous notes, and learning everything I can about energy and how it works. I've come to see that my strength lies in supporting others as they navigate transition, change, and release.

Reiki Healing, Energy Work, and Crystal Energy

I’ll be doing six more months of case study work, and plan to start taking clients in late summer or early fall. A new website is coming for the Reiki and energy work side of things. You can expect to see updates here and on my Instagram and Facebook pages sometime in the summer. 

And for those of you not in Berlin, keep in mind that there will be an option for distance Reiki healing.

Even better?

The jewelry isn't going anywhere.

Reiki healing is all about directing energetic intention, and gemstones and crystals are a physical manifestation of any energy you could ever want. Reiki practice and healing crystal jewelry are a natural fit with energy work. Wearing crystals with intention and corresponding energy is an easy way to bring them into your life, and I'm over the moon to tie it all together.

The last few years could have broken me, and I feel like a phoenix rising.

My first reviews are coming in - here's a little peek at what people are saying. 

So now I want to ask about your experience - do you know anything about Reiki or energy work?

Have you ever tried it?

I’m beyond ready for this new chapter in my life, and I'm so curious about your experience.

Share in the comments!